Making Boxed Rice Awesome

Looking back over the last few weeks, every boxed rice mix I made (including Uncle Ben's Wild Rice, Near East Rice Pilaf, and Zatarain's Red Beans and Rice), I followed the same procedure every time.

It's not the one on the box, and they always came out great.

Oh, and it's super easy, and it tastes like it was made from scratch. Curious yet?

I'll let you in on the secret: Follow Alton Brown's Pilaf procedure. I'd link to the video (Good Eats Season 1 Episode 12, Power to the Pilaf), but it's apparently not available for free, so I'll just describe it (don't worry, it's easy):

Fry the rice, before you add water.

Wat!?

Yeah. I know. Who'd'a thunk it?

So here's what you do, no matter what boxed rice mix you picked up. Trust me. I've tried close to a dozen.

1. On the box, it'll always give you an optional butter-or-olive-oil addition. Go with the olive oil. Add it to a saucepan over medium-high heat.
2. Give it a moment to heat, then add the rice and stir. If the spices are mixed in with the rice, don't worry, it's okay; if they're in a separate packet, save that for later.
3. Measure out the water recommended by the box. Now dump out 1/2 cup. The box always recommends too much. The only time you should not dump out 1/2 cup is if the serving size is 2 instead of 4; in that case, dump out 1/4 cup. Like I said, it's always too much.
4. After the rice has been frying for 1-2 minutes, you'll hear a nice sizzling sound, and should smell something nutty. Give it a stir.
5. Wait ~1 more minute. Stir it again. Do this two more times. Or three, if you're feeling brash. Some of the rice should look pretty brown now, and a distinct nutty perfume will be pleasantly pervading around your kitchen.
6. Carefully add the water you measured earlier to the hot rice. There will be lots of hot steam and some spatter. If there was a spice packet, add that too.
7. Stir everything together until it looks good.
8. Wait until it is clearly boiling again, then put on the lid and turn the heat down to medium-low (or a little higher if you like crunchy brown bits on the bottom). Set a timer for 25 minutes. This would be an ideal time to cook the rest of your meal, assuming the rice wasn't the whole thing.
9. When the timer goes off, remove the lid and stir/fluff with a chopstick. Leave the heat on for 5 more minutes, then stir again and remove from the heat. It's time to eat!

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The Perfect Manhattan

The perfect Manhattan:

• 3 small ice cubes
• 2oz Rye-heavy whiskey (I really like Tin Cup
• 2oz Sweet vermouth
• 1.5oz Dry vermouth
• 0.5oz Triple sec
• 2 Luxardo Maraschino Cherries, plus a little syrup
• ~5 dashes each Angostura Aromatic and Orange bitters

Add the ice and the four liquors to a (preferably chilled) martini glass. My favorite are these glasses.

Skewer the cherries and use them to stir. While stirring, drizzle in a little cherry syrup, less than half an ounce.

Dash the bitters over the top.

Technically, my perfect Manhattan is not a Perfect Manhattan, which requires equal amounts of sweet and dry vermouth. But all cocktail measurements are guidelines, really.

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My Breakfast Sandwich

For three weeks I've been making this sandwich for breakfast almost every day, and I just can't seem to get tired of it. It's kind of a cross between an everything bagel with lox and cream cheese, and a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich (and it makes a great hangover remedy, when combined with caffeine).

Serves: 1

Ingredients (links go to Amazon):
2 slices of sourdough bread
3 eggs
1-2 slices of smoked salmon (aka lox)
~4 thin slices of sharp cheddar cheese
butter
dill weed
everything bagel seasoning
ghost pepper powder (be careful! maybe get the mixed box and start with the jalapeno)
sea salt
black pepper

Procedure:
In parallel:
Toast and lightly butter the bread, spread the lox on it, and sprinkle the everything bagel seasoning and lots of dill on the salmon.

Fry the eggs over hard, on medium heat (I strongly recommend using a cast iron griddle). Before flipping, season with salt, pepper, and ghost pepper powder (or your pepper of choice). After flipping, lay the cheese slices on top so they can soften and maybe melt a bit.

Once both of those are done, lay the cheesy spicy eggs over the salmon and slice in half.

Enjoy!

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The secret of martinis

I enjoy cold, dirty, dry gin martinis, and recently discovered the secret to getting the balance right: Treat the vermouth as bitters.

That's it.

Here's how I like mine:

• 5 Queen olives stuffed with pimentos
• 1.5oz Olive brine
• 4.5oz Bombay sapphire gin, kept frozen
• A few dashes of dry vermouth

Spear some of the olives and use them to stir the brine and gin together, then cover the vermouth bottle with your thumb and squirt a few drops over the top.